THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

This is not a brag, simply a bit of end-of-year sentimentality.

In today’s hand-out real estate paper there’s a poignant piece by one of the regular columnists.  She recounts seeing a lad sitting on the footpath – first impression: fly-away carefree blond hair, Leif Garrett in the ‘70s.  But a closer look:  miserable eyes, bloodied knuckles, shivering.   Conversation and concern eventually elicited some reticent response, and a faint smile.  After some direct questioning the lad rated his life at about 50:50; so not so bad rejoined the writer, you’re still breathing.  A slightly bigger smile.    

The lad is persuaded to return to his school, but not before saying:  “Why are you being so nice when you don’t even know me?”

The columnist writes of the kindness of strangers, and wonders whether it existed only in earlier times, when neighbours looked out for each other.  Perhaps those sunny days didn’t really exist either.  Perhaps random acts of kindness have always been remarkable.  “Is kindness in this boy’s life so foreign that when it comes from an unfamiliar face it seems simply bizarre?”

The kindness of strangers is not a difficult concept, and has existed throughout the ages.  [As if to provide legitimacy, The Reader’s Digest has a web page with 24 anecdotes submitted by readers, examples of such kindnesses that have occurred in their lives.]  It was Tennessee Williams, though, who immortalised the words themselves - in 1947, in A Streetcar Named Desire.  Blanche DuBois - wily, contriving, “helpless”, a faded beauty, and “a woman of loose morals” – twice uses the words “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”; first when encouraging a potential suiter, then later to the attendant escorting her to a mental institution.

And latterly, the concept of the kindness of strangers has gained some formal recognition through the spread of “paying forward”.  While not new, the idea of paying a debt forward gained traction through the 2000 film Pay it Forward.   That idea:  instead of re-paying a debt or a favour or a kindness, extend the same generosity to some other person.  The concept was not unknown to me, but not well understood either………….

Until earlier this year.  Annie and I were having an evening meal with our daughter and son-in-law.  Pavement cafe.  A young couple sat at an adjacent table, but after checking the menu decided to move on.  In the course of some banter they indicated that the pricing was too rich for their budget.  About 20 minutes later the couple returned, and sat down again – they hadn’t been able to find a cheaper eating place.  We instinctively, as a group, thought to help them out, and I moved to their table thinking to contribute ten dollars to their meal; but Annie called out to give them fifty dollars, enough to cover the full cost.  As I did so, in expressing thanks the young man said : “I’ll pay it forward.”

The thought of that fifty dollars ricochetting  around is a very warm thought indeed.

Gary Andrews